


this girl loves that girl

by Ember3ye



Category: Borderlands (Video Games)
Genre: Big L word, Cuddling, F/F, Mild Hurt/Comfort, S A P P Y, past trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-30
Updated: 2019-09-14
Packaged: 2020-09-30 20:21:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20453006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ember3ye/pseuds/Ember3ye
Summary: A series of Jathena drabbles.





	1. Hold Me

**Author's Note:**

> Janey still has nightmares. Athena tries her best to help, but she's still figuring out these new feelings.
> 
> this is my first time writing these two so please forgive any character.. mishaps I guess? I tried my best to iron them out. definitely an idea done before many times. please don't yell at me.  
I hope you like it!

The soft purple glow of Helios faded away Janey’s blonde, leaving it a glimmering silver. As she approached, Athena saw a dull lilac glow on her cheeks, water throwing back a little light. When she'd woken up in the dark, her whole side feeling raw from someone missing, she'd suspected as much. 

Moving slowly, Athena sat beside her on the railing, but before she could try to say anything, Janey spoke.

“It’s fine, hon. You don’t have to waste your sleep time staying out here in the cold with me. ”

Her face was turned away, but Janey’s voice was steady. Athena admired her for that. She pressed close to Janey’s cold side, passing an arm around her shivering shoulders gently. Janey’s breathing was too loud.

“I’m staying,” she told her, and Janey’s gaze drifted across to her, not quite meeting her eyes but close, closer.

Janey blinked hard. “Thanks. It’s nice to have someone here. Well, it’s nice to have you here. Specifically you.”

Athena rubbed her shoulder, and tried to think of what she’d appreciate if someone had been there during her nightmares. “I assume you don’t want to talk about it.”

Janey sniffled loudly. “Not tonight.”

“Okay,” Athena said quietly. “You... uh. Nevermind.”

She wasn’t good at this, and it showed up red and clear. Janey let out a sudden laugh. It was tinkling, a mere ghost of her hearty, full-blown roar, but Athena was glad to hear it, abet bemused.

“What is it?”

Janey leaned into her shorter frame, this time linking her reddish eyes with Athena’s.

“You’re so sweet, but it’s okay to just be here,” Janey explained, and her calloused hand reached up and caught Athena’s. “I know you’d find it easier to plough a filthy scav full of bullets than comfort me. I wouldn’t ask you to talk as well.”

“I want to help.” Still a foreign concept.

“You’re helping just by being here, trust me on that.” Janey managed a thin smile, faint and trembling at the edges, but a smile nonetheless.

Athena wished she could hold her even closer.

“If you say so.”

Janey nodded, and rested her head against Athena’s, tragically too tall for Athena’s shoulder. Despite the utter lack of oxygen around them, the absence of anything but crooked rocks, lumbering kraggons and festering hulls of metal, Janey was warm. She felt like the star-ridden horizon when the light from Helios drifts across it just right, a hopeful glow that touched through even Athena’s iron chest. Janey was the one good thing in the entirety of this devastated wasteland.

Turning her head, Athena pressed her lips against the crown of Janey’s head, her coarse, neglected hair scratching her mouth. She smelt like grease and freshly cut metal.

Athena couldn’t remember anything that made her feel safer. She just wished she knew how to help Janey to feel the same.

In a silent reply, Janey squeezed her hand, her gaze once again trailing along the barren ground. Out of the corner of her eye, Athena could see tears blooming in the edges of her eyes. She knew she couldn’t stop them. More than anyone, she knew how the past hurt without care.

Janey’s shoulders shook underneath her arm, slow, as if she was attempting to repress her sorrow.

“I’m sorry.”

Janey spoke in a hoarse whisper, but in the hollow vastness of dead ships, Athena heard her just fine.

“No apologising,” Athena answered firmly. “There’s no reason to.”

“I thought they’d stopped,” Janey sucked in a jerky breath. “The nightmares. I thought they’d kicked the bucket years ago, and I was more than happy to see them go. But perhaps because I’ve got someone to lose again...”

Janey pressed her lips together. “Doesn’t matter. Fuck ‘em.”

“You’re not losing me,” Athena assured her. “I’ve given it up, remember?”

“Yeah. They’re just a buncha lying cunts anyways.”

Athena swallowed. “Exactly. Whatever happens in them to me is only a nightmare.”

Drawing her gaze across the bare tundra, outlined with jagged wrecks, Janey brought her hand up to her mouth, tearing away the little nail she had with her teeth. Athena could see anxieties ripping through her head, by the tightness of her shoulders, the slight tremble of her lower lip.

“It happened once, Athena. It could happen again.”

Athena exhaled sharply. “I highly doubt a few oversized kraggons could kill me.”

There was a beat before realisation struck her.

“I mean... not that your - I’m sure Steph wasn’t -“

“It’s fine. I get whatch’re tryna say.” Janey cut through her stuttered apology firmly, and the sharpness in her voice morphed into a bullet, piercing Athena’s lungs. Athena didn't dare drag in a breath. 

After a few thick seconds, Janey swallowed hard. “Y'know what I mean. Not kraggons specifically, just.. anything. Anything who wants to kill you. And that’s a hell of a lot of anythings.”

“Janey," Athena started, her words chosen with thought this time,"I’m under no illusions about my mortality. If I die, I die. It’s nobody’s fault, there’s no reason, it’s just how it is.”

Janey turned tired eyes to her. “So your grand philosophy is ‘shit happens’?”

“That about sums it up.”

Straightening up, Janey tucked up her legs to her chest, resting her chin on her knees and gripping her shins close. Her sigh echoed through Athena's skull.

“Look, you’re used to mates dying, going missing and such, working for the Crimson Lance an' all. I’m not. I won’t be able for... another.”

Cautiously, Athena twisted to face her, drawing both of her arms around Janey.

“You never get used to it. It’s why I work alone.”

Janey felt thinner than the last time she’d held her, somehow, as if the wind and grief had ground away her will and only left her hurting bones. Pressing a kiss to her cheek, Athena spoke carefully.

“Dying would suck for me too. I’ll try my best to avoid it.”

She coupled it with a tender squeeze, and Janey’s elbow dug into her ribs. She didn’t care.

A shimmer of a smile passed over Janey’s lips. “Thanks. I ‘ppreciate it.”

They stayed there, just inside the oxygen dome gazing out at the devoid landscape of nothing but kraggons and scraps, until Athena’s skin began prickling and she could feel Janey shivering in her arms. Athena doubted it was from coldness. Her slender body was as warm as ever.

Janey touched Athena’s cheek. “You’re colder than the kraggons in the freezer. Go inside.”

She always treated Athena like glass. She always had from the moment she met her, and Athena suspected she always would, no matter how many times she saw her kill.

“I’m fine.”

Athena couldn’t hide a quiver entering her voice. Her fingers, still locked in Janey’s, were numb.

“Your lips are turning purple. Matches your hair nicely, by the way. Nice to know that you’ll be fashionable if you ever freeze to death.”

“I’ll have to do something about them then, won’t I?” Athena replied, angling her face.

Janey smiled. “Guess we will.”

On cue, Athena tilted her head, pressing her mouth to Janey’s softly. Oh, she loved the gentle pressure of her dry lips. They reminded her of nights of comfort, the sight of Janey’s hair whipping in the wind while driving, the wildness of her dark eyes during combat.

She wondered what she felt like to Janey.

Slightly pulling back, Janey’s smile grew wider, and she cupped Athena’s icy cheeks. “It's probably best if we head inside now. Before I have to stick you in the oven to heat you up.”

“There are other ways to warm up.” The words glided from Athena’s mouth before it registered that perhaps now was not quite the ideal time for flirting... or anything more.

In response, Janey unfolded her body and rotated towards her, still caught in her arms. Her hands slid down over Athena’s shoulders, slow, underneath the hem of her loose shirt.

“I didn’t mean....” Athena’s cheeks flushed. “I was referring to cuddling.”

“Sure you were, hon. I believe you one hundred and fifty percent.”

Despite her light, playful words, her eyes still weren’t there. Athena gently took hold of her forearms and lifted them away.

“Let’s go inside. Does some cocoa sound good?”

Some of Janey’s fragmented gaze returned, glinting faintly like dust thrown up under moonlight.

“It sounds like best idea I’ve heard all day.” Janey smiled, but it soon faded. “Do ya mind bringing it out to me? I just... need a moment more. Then I’ll be fine to go inside, I swear.”

Ever since Steph’s death, ever since Janey saw her torn up in a small space, unable to escape, Janey couldn’t be confined. Not when the nightmares came.

“Of course.” Athena hopped down from the railing, and paused. “I understand.”

Janey’s eyes crinkled at the sides. “Knew ya would.”

Athena was almost to the door when Janey spoke again.

“Y’know I love you, don’t you?”

Her voice was quiet.

Athena stopped with her hand on the handle, with her chest full of fire. “I do.”

“Good. I dunno why I thought you mightn’t,” Janey gabbed, the relief causing her voice to speed up. ”Hell, I make it obvious enough.”

Athena turned. She mightn’t have said it yet, and she mightn’t have known what it is or how to feel it, and it might be the biggest, most intimidating “it” of her life, but... Janey needed it. The only time she felt love was when she heard her sister's voice, and that love had driven her to murder thousands. Athena had corrupted it, and so she didn't deserve it. She'd believed that, unwaveringly, until Janey had grinned widely at her and stretched out her hand for her. How was her conviction so easily shattered? Athena knew. Janey was the first truly kind person she'd ever met.

She crossed back to Janey, the woman who helped others first, who fed street kids, who chewed on her fingernails while nervous and forgot to sleep, who liked to listen to scary echo stories at night to distract her from her real fears, who talked slow while sleepy, who got excited for reasons Athena couldn’t fathom, who always makes time to hug her after she’s back from a job, who always did her best to keep grease out of their bedsheets.

Athena kissed her, shallowly, afraid of overwhelming her. But when Janey bent down further, almost falling off of the railing to deepen the kiss, she knew she was okay. 

After a few seconds, they parted.

“I hope I do too," Athena said lowly, the confession tasting like soft honey on her tongue. "Make it obvious, that is. That I love you."

She wasn’t sure if she was telling the truth. She wasn’t certain she loved Janey. But if love was what gave her the warm sense every time Janey smiled or what gave her patience to listen through Janey’s rambles and not mind in the least that she didn’t know what a “grandametric coil disperser” was, as long as Janey was content. That’s all that mattered to Athena. She made her want to be kind too, and if that was love, then she loved her.

Janey smiled, this time a full, whole one, that reached her eyes with a spark. “Go get that hot choccy, my love. I'll make ya that specialty of mine for brekkie - roasted kraggon steak, right?"

My love. Athena smiled back. "Perfect, darling."

To Athena's relief, the light behind Janey’s eyes was back.


	2. Flames

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rundown and ragged, Athena gets ambushed. Luckily, Janey is nearby to intervene.

Athena knew something was wrong the moment she stepped foot in the alley. All her instincts fired up at once at the slight give of the metal underneath her boot, and she flung herself backwards, a fraction before the walls crumbled down, an explosion lurching the entire world around her. Her back cracked off of the ground, and she lowered her seared forearms, the pain piercing through the deafening, billowing screech in her ears. 

Her shield was up in an instant, bullets clanging off of the metal covering her forehead. Fuck. Someone good enough to aim for the head. Spinning around, she heard cries and hammering footsteps from all angles, and she dropped down low. The circle was closing in. Her eyes darted around, ears tensed to the sublest irregularity, somewhere not so thickly laden with mercs where she could break through. Through the smoke and ash clogging up her nose and clinging to her eyelashes, she could finally see the figures, racing towards her, firing recklessly. 

The noise of their metal shoes off of the stone of Concordia was thunderous, as if she was being charged by a herd of kraggons. Kraggons with guns and a mind of their own. 

Athena didn't dare fling her shield, instead lunging off into the thickest part of the aftermath, sliding over metal scraps and feeling the warmth of the still-burning flames through her scalded gloves. The agony was beginning to set in, boring through the adrenaline, aided by the leaden exhaustion weighing down her veins. She was slowing down, but she could now see the faces of her attackers, cloaked in shitty red cloth with two wonky eye holes cut out. 

With a push that caused her thigh muscles to scream and her throat to breathe raw, she hurled herself straight into the leading one, feeling his ribcage crackle and pop through his lungs underneath the sheer force of her shield. Her bullets drove another back, blood gushing from his neck, and she dragged the crushed corpse up in front of her, blocking incoming bullets. 

A noise so grisly and inhuman hit her ears, and it took a second before she realised it was her war cry, her declaration of a massacre. Since when had it sounded so… desperate? 

Her lungs burned as she pressed onwards, smashing through bodies and cleaving guns, bodies, anything in her way to bits, but they were nearing, the other sides of the circle, trapping her. If she didn't break through soon… 

Slicing through more flesh - Athena couldn't pinpoint where or what, the blood was mixing with the ashes and dribbling thickly into her eyes, smearing bitterly over her lips - she drove herself forwards, always forwards, until, out of the corner of her eye, she saw them. At least thirty more, yelling and whooping, and the beat of their footsteps matched up with the maniac beating of her heart, until she couldn't distinguish the two and her heart felt like it was pulsing her whole body. 

And on her left side, she heard a returning roar, a greeting. Then from behind her, and finally, a rejuvenated cry from before her. 

It pissed her off. 

She stabbed through the next one's neck, let him gurgle the last of his triumphant war cry around the cold steel of her blade. The initial burns were boiling on her skin, the hot blood doing nothing to soothe the pain plowing right down into her shaking muscles. Her shield was drooping, her left arm shuddering dangerously as she fought the ache, fought the weight of it hanging onto burnt yellow skin. 

She felt bullets thud against her shield, propelling her forwards, and she knew she was out of time to break through. So she turned around. 

"Try me, you motherfuckers."

Athena inhaled, her whole respiratory system aflame, and wiped the sticky, drying ash-blood out of her eyes. Her mouth tasted like smoke and iron. And as they regrouped and circled around her, she didn't have the strength to scream out a warning. Slowly, she raised her shield again, and her entire body balked, her stomach convulsing, demanding to vomit. 

"Your head would make a fine wall-mount," one growled out. "Too bad it's needed to collect the reward."

"Too bad you won't be alive to see that money," Athena replied calmly, preparing herself.

They lifted their weapons, an assortment of shotguns, dodgy revolvers, forks, branch-cutters, a bork's tusk. Then they hesitated. Athena frowned. Was that… an engine? 

The black wheel of a motorcycle burst through the smoke, the motion causing the fog to whip around it, creating a wonderful window for Athena to look through as Janey ran over the fucker who threatened to use her head as a decoration. 

It halted precariously next to her, and Janey, eyebrows lowered and expression more focused than Athena had ever seen, outstretched her hand and vigorously gestured towards her. 

"Well, whatcha staring at? Get on the bloody bike! Unless you wanna be turned into pizza for the psychos."

“But- how did you -“ Athena stuttered out. 

"Get 'em! Or I'm using your neck skin for earmuffs!"

“There’s no time for that now getyourassonhere NOW!”

Athena's body was moving, reacting to Janey's urgency, before her brain kicked in. Slinging a leg over the bike, she slide downwards against Janey's back, who cranked the bike up. Within a second, Athena's upper body was jerked backwards as they plummeted forwards, a sensation Athena usually associated with free-fall. Her stomach gave another rumble, her mouth flooding with extra saliva.

"You might wanna hold on, ride's gonna get a bit bumpy!" Janey called back to her as she kicked it up a gear, not bothering to swerve to avoid the mercs. 

Athena did not dare argue, slipping her tired arms around Janey's waist - oh no her scars, what if they hurt her? - and banished all doubts from her mind, clinging on tighter than she'd ever admit. Janey wouldn't have told her to hang on if her scars still hurt her. Athena knew her own still did. 

The adrenaline ebbed, leaving her body filled with nothing with emptiness, and it took all Athena's concentration to hold on. The journey out of the death trap was blurred, screams of the dying, warm splatters on her forearms, the engine struggling underneath and Janey cursing at body parts being trapped in the mudguards, until the next thing she knew they were out of the smoke and speeding over Serenity's Waste, and the last thing Athena remembered was thinking how oddly soft Janey's skin was. 

Athena woke with a jolt, as if she had dreamt of falling. For a moment she almost fell for real, teetering on the edge of the thin, raised bed she was in. The sheets tangled around her waist tightened for an instant and she managed to regain her balance, hands clutching onto the covers. She listened to her breath pounding in her ears, trying to convince herself to release her grip on the sheets. It took a second for it to come back - the explosion, the ambush, Janey Springs… 

She lifted her arms, and sure enough, bandages were wrapped around them, covering the damage. As she cautiously slid out of the bed, Athena realised her limbs felt a lot lighter - and sure enough, her armour, sword and shield were missing, along with her jacket and pants. All she was wearing was her striped undervest, and a pair of loose shorts she didn't recognise over her underwear. Panic stabbed through her chest, the coldness of the metal floor shocking her bare feet, and her hand instinctively flew to underneath the pillow, searching for a revolver. 

When she felt no metal, she forced herself to start breathing slowly. She had to be in Janey's hideout in Serenity's Waste. There was no need for a gun. 

Unless there was. 

Silently, she crept the length of the small room. Looking around, she spotted her clothes crumpled on top of a drawer - no sign of her armour or a gun, but she was grateful nonetheless. Quickly flinging on her jacket and trousers, she cracked open the door slowly, and the hinges' loud groan echoed through the room. 

Athena heaved out a sigh. So much for being cautious. Still, she softly made her way to the railing, overseeing the main room, where Janey's assortment of projects and junk were scattered around, heaped in corners and piled on tables. Athena spotted Janey in front of one such table, her back to Athena as she worked. Vaguely, Athena picked up on a few snatches of a melody, a low humming. For a few long heartbeats, she watched Janey work, feeling the tension release her shoulders, her chest free her breath, as she focused on how swiftly Janey's hands moved, how sure they were of every twist of metal. 

Her gaze shifted up Janey's lean arms, noting how she could see the muscle shimmer when Janey lifted her arm to batter out bumps with a hammer. She rested on the back of her neck for a second, then to her hair, cut short and practical. An image of her threading her fingers through Janey’s hair floated through her head, and she inhaled sharply. She couldn’t be indulging in thinking like that. 

Athena wondered if there was something wrong with her. The first thought like that that had crossed her mind was about Janey's plaster - she might have been suffocating to death, but as soon as all of the oxygen had vented from that Moon Crate and she'd seen Janey’s face, Athena had wanted to peel off the plaster from that cute nose. She'd dismissed it as a side effect of oxygen deprivation. People generally had weird thoughts while dying. 

Until it had happened again. 

It had been her tattoos. Athena had glanced at them, and then her eyes had returned, lingering of their own accord. They were cool. Revenge was something she could get behind. 

And then Janey had checked in with her in Helios, and things had snowballed hard from there. Athena had fully intended to take her up on her offer of a drink, it was just.. difficult to get past the emotional cement in her head, courtesy of Atlas indoctrination.

As if she knew she was being stared at, Janey turned, and saw Athena immediately. Throwing one hand up into an enthusiastic wave, Janey called up to her. 

"Athena! You're finally conscious and not dying!"

Her voice split the silence and the uncomfortable compression on Athena’s chest. 

"Always good to hear," Athena answered, making her way down the stairs with a clenched heart. She did her best to pretend it didn't exist. "How did you find me?"

"I thought it was just scavs being shitbags again, but then I heard your scream and knew that wasn't any common scav war cry. I said to myself 'Janey, that's a Vault Hunter cry. And it doesn't sound like they're slappity ticking either.' So I grabbed my bike and headed out for the big bonza rescue. Good thing I did, too. You passed out on the way here and almost got minced to bits underneath the back wheel. Your armour took some brutal bruising too, so I'm just fixing it up a bit."

Janey held up Athena's shoulder plate, and although a spark of protectiveness went through her, it quickly faded. Athena was certain that if anyone else had taken her armour, they would have their face bashed in with said armour. Yet it was Janey holding it, and she held it gently. It looked like it belonged in her hands.

"Thank you," Athena said, her voice cracking. Swallowing, she ran a hand back through her hair. She cast a wary gaze around, but nothing seemed to be amiss. "How long have I been out?" 

"Three days," Janey told her cheerfully. 

Athena blinked. "Impossible."

"That's what I thought, too! Until you did it."

Shaking her head, Athena crossed her arms over her chest. "I refuse to believe that I wasted three days."

Janey inclined her head towards the fast travel station. "You can check for yourself, if you want. But it's like I'm telling you - three whole days."

She sniffed, and turned back to working on Athena's armour, scratching her cheek with the back of her greasy hands. Athena stood there, feeling the loss of her armour, missing the familiar weight clutching onto her forearms. The more she focused on the lightness of her body, the more she was taking stock of how vulnerable she was, how easily any mindless scav with a gun could kill her. She felt her shoulders hunching up, her legs tensing, ready for a fight that was likely only in her own head. She knew that, but she couldn't stop it. Forcing herself to inhale deeply, Athena spoke. 

"One more thing."

"Yeah?" Janey regarded her a second, then smiled, wiping off her hands in a towel. It struck Athena how pretty she looked, with a missed grease smear across her left cheekbone, with her warm eyes. Glancing away, Athena tugged at her earlobe, fiddling with her upper ear piercings. 

"Springs...Uh… you didn't - I woke up in…"

Words having abandoned her tongue, Athena gestured at her clothes, hoping maybe she didn't come across as quite the useless lesbian she was. 

"You don't think I was gonna let you sleep in your armour, did ya? 'Course I didn't undress you any more than I had ta, don't worry." Janey grinned, and Athena wasn't sure if she felt relief or disappointment."Hard job it was, too. How'd ya get all of that on in the morning?"

Athena gave a weak smile. "It rarely comes off. Only when I have somewhere safe to sleep."

Janey's eyebrows sprung upwards. "And how often is that?"

"Maybe once a month. It depends on the jobs."

"Jesus Christ. D'ya take showers, or d'ya just not sweat? Did Atlas find a way to eliminate body odour from their super-soldiers? Because let me tell ya, if I didn't hop in a shower for a month, I'd be smelling as funky as a three-day old skag carcass."

Again, an unfamiliar bubbling rose in Athena's chest, flowing up her neck to warm her face, and she realised she was smiling. Not from the satisfaction of a kill, or from vanquishing a Vault Guardian, or from rare loot, but from… Janey. Janey and her dark eyes, what Athena pictured when she heard the word beautiful. 

"Not exactly," Athena explained. "All the bases had proton showers so we could deploy at a moment's notice, and clean ourselves without having to remove our armour. Sometimes I duck into the nearest station to clean up."

Letting out a low whistle, Janey moved back to the table. "Fancy, ain't it? That'd be pure handy."

"It was for the first two decades. Then it got old," Athena assured her, hesitantly stepping up beside her. Janey's cheek was level with her eyeline, and Athena's gaze flicked upwards briefly. For once, she wasn't thinking about how best to strike someone down with her height disadvantage. It was nice, to examine her piercings and wonder what each one meant. 

She watched Janey lift her breastplate up, examing the tarnished front, the well-worn sides. Cracks jarred the surface where the blast had hit her and slammed her backwards, and Athena wished she hadn't been so sloppy, so tired, so slow on her reactions. It was pathetic for a Crimson Lance assassin to be caught off guard by such a juvenile trap. 

Janey hummed to herself, seemingly as absorbed by her thoughts as Athena was.

“Why did you rescue me?” Athena found herself asking, cynicism leaking into her voice. She stared at her leg armour on the table. It looked so hollow. "Nobody helps anyone without motivation. Or if they do, it's because they want them to owe them one. And since you took care of me for three days and destroyed your motorbike with merc blood, I'm guessing you think I owe you a lot."

Janey looked at her, then glanced away, shaking her head. "Look, it's not like that. I helped ya before first, didn't I?"

"Then asked me to kill a man."

"I did, but he really was a dickhead. It was a service to the whole moon of Elphis, really, and by extension the universe.” 

The corners of Athena's mouth twitched. "Fair."

Janey offered her a small smile, slightly apologetic, scratching the back of her neck. "And, well, if ya think ya owe me one, then maybe I could take you out for a drink sometime? To repay me for saving you. Then we'll call it splits, yeah?"

Athena let herself smile. "That sounds like a good deal to me. Tonight?"

"Maybe lay low a little longer than that," Janey suggested. "I didn't run over all of those mercs, y'know. I'd say they're still all crooky on ya. They're gonna wanna avenge their leader and his stupid face scarf. How about next week?"

"I might not be around for that long," Athena mentioned, thinking to the list of jobs on her ECHO, and Janey's smile dimmed. The sight caused caves in Athena's chest. 

She paused, grappling with her thoughts.

"But, uh, perhaps I could hang around for a few days more," Athena added on, and Janey's face lifted again. 

"Would ya? And if you need a place to stay, I've got plenty of space right here!" Janey spread her arms, sweeping them around. "Lotsa old mattresses dug up recently thanks to that crash at Kraggon's Pass. You're welcome to stay as long as you like. Obviously."

Athena cast her gaze over to the corner, where one old mattress was dressed up in a huddle of blankets. "I'm sorry for hogging your bed for three days."

Janey waved away the apology, turning back to her work. "Eh, don't really use it much nowadays anyways. Gotta be close to the work."

Athena suspected she wasn't the only one who had trouble sleeping.

"That doesn't matter. I'll sleep on the mattress," Athena told her, eyeing how Janey flattened out all the metal edges on her shield deployer with deft blows. They'd curled up from the heat of the explosion, even lifting up some screws. It was like Janey knew exactly where they cut into her skin. 

"Nah, I'll be fine. You need the rest more, anyways. When was the last time you'd slept before you got attacked? Thought you’d be able to deal with a bunch of mercs like that no probs.” 

Athena thought back, rubbing at the bandages on her inner arms. Her wounds were beginning to itch. "I, uh, can't remember. I was… run down already, and the explosion didn’t help matters.”

Janey waggled a spanner at her. "That's my point proven. Take the bed. I stashed your guns in the lower drawer, by the way. Just in case you were looking for 'em."

Releasing a deep breath, Athena nodded gratefully. "Thank you. It's probably for the best that I didn't find them, because if you had caught me by surprise I might've blown a hole in you."

Janey shrugged. "Eh, I've gotten ripped up by a kraggon before. That wouldn't be so bad, at least I'd die by the hands of someone who wasn't a cowardly stinkin' hunk of shit."

"Should I be flattered?" Athena leaned forwards, resting her elbows on the table, feeling metal shavings dig into her skin. But she could see Janey's face better, so her arms could suck it up. As for the spinning in her head, her head would have to get over it. She'd slept enough. 

She saw a smile pass over Janey's lips. "If you think that's flattery, you should hear the story I wrote about you killin' that damned creature."

"I, uh, already did," Athena's mouth went dry. "It was just sitting on your desk.. And you weren't there." She might've just wanted to hear her voice.

Glancing up, Janey huffed out an amused snort. "So you just took it? A true Vault Hunter. No proper morals or morals at all. What’d you think?”

“I liked the happy ending. Made a refreshing change from reality."

"Wasn't a happy ending for Flamey's bloodline,” Janey chuckled out. “Nothing makes me so bloody stoked. Also, you owe me another drink for stealing my stories without my permission. A publisher could've been looking for that. And I don't wanna hear any arguments."

"I wasn't going to argue." Athena offered her her hand. "How about …"

She paused, realising she had no idea what day or date it was.

Janey chuckled, taking her hand. "Sometime before you go, yeah?"

Athena nodded, her hand lingering in Janey's warm, rough one. She could feel the oily substance smudge onto her palm, but she didn't mind. Janey's mild, unassuming grip made up for it. "Agreed."

Janey’s gaze dropped to her arms. “Do they hurt? Well, obviously they hurt. How hurty are they?”

“Quite a bit,” Athena admitted, and she let go of Janey's hand.

“I’ll give you some balm I found. I put some on where you conked out but it’s probably wiped off by now. Sit down… somewhere and I’ll fetch it for ya.” Janey gestured widely, leaving Athena with absolutely no notion where she was supposed to sit down. 

Janey hopped up the stairs, and Athena stood still, feeling like a fifth wheel. Eventually, she found a massive tyre that maybe looked like it could function as a seat, and tried to settle herself down on it. Within a few minutes, Janey bound down the stairs again, this time with a tube and a fresh roll of bandages in her hands. 

"Here ya go! It won't hurt that badly while you put it on. Almost not worse than the pain of originally getting burned."

Janey held out the cream, and Athena took it. 

"Got it. Thanks."

Ripping off the old, soggy bandages from her left arm, Athena couldn't stop herself wincing. Somehow, peeling off the three-day old bandages from raw, sitcky blister-burns was more painful than getting them. 

"Here," Janey said, crouching down in front of her. "Do ya want me to help you?"

Hesitating, Athena felt her breath shorten. She wasn't sure if it was from all of her instincts repelling the offer - it wasn't like teaming up for a job - or how softly Janey's voice was. She must've paused longer than she thought, because Janey stood up again, nodding. 

"Alrighty then, I'll leave ya to it. I'll just be over there."

"Uh… I don't mind," Athena said quickly, and she held out the tube. "If you don't."

Janey snorted, and she took back the balm Athena. "I wouldn't have offered if I minded. Makes sense, yeah?"

Athena felt her cheeks colour. "I know. I just… sometimes my brain stops."

Squeezing out the pale cream onto the tips of her fingers, Janey chuckled. "I feel ya there."

As soon as Janey’s fingertips brushed against her skin, Athena felt a jolt strike her, and she had to make herself stay sitting. When was the last time she’d had skin to skin contact with someone? Nisha sometimes elbowed her, but lately Athena has grown so accustomed to it she saw it coming and dropped her shoulder so her elbow went straight into her armour. And even if Nisha managed to make proper contact, it had been against her clothing. Nothing so intimate as touching skin. When she’d looped her arm around Janey’s waist, she’d been on the verge of passing out. Athena wasn’t sure if that counted. It was out of necessity, after all.

“Everything bonza?” 

Janey’s voice broke into her thoughts, and Athena nodded, suddenly aware that she mustn't have hid her reaction as well as she’d hoped. Janey had hesitated, her eyes tracing Athena’s face intently. 

“You sure?” 

“Yes. Yes, I’m fine,” Athena said, her heart thudding hard against her rib cage. She wasn’t so broken that she couldn’t handle human touch. She wasn't. 

Janey didn’t believe a word out of Athena’s mouth. Her blue eyes were wide, somehow a more diluted shade than usual. It was almost inconceivable to her that the legendary Vault Hunter, awesome badass (and stupidly, ridiculously pretty) Athena was on edge, but the board-like stiffness of her body led Janey to no other conclusion. What had made her so uneasy? 

Janey sat back, allowing silence to fill the room. Athena didn’t meet her eyes, instead averting her gaze to the corner of the room, a hand raising to fondle her metal earrings. 

“Athena,” Janey made sure her voice was gentle. “What’s up? Did I do something?” 

Everything had been fine until Janey had touched her and that weird shudder had gone through Athena’s core. But now, with her disevilled bed-hair and shifty eyes, she looked like a misplaced runaway. 

“Nothing. I, uh, have to go though.” Athena stood woodenly, one palm pressed flat against her temple. “Remembered an urgent job I have to do.” 

“Sure you’re up for it?”

“I have to be. It’s, uh, urgent.”

“Yeah, you mentioned that. Here, you’ll need this.” Janey scrambled to her feet, holding out the tube of cream. “And even though you’ve been healing while you’ve been under, I don’t think your arms can handle the weight of your shield.” 

“They’re fine,” Athena said curtly, and Janey got a horrid feeling that she’d overstepped. 

She looked down at Athena’s forearms, covered with yellowed blisters and soured, red burns. Abruptly, Athena pulled down her sleeves. 

“They’ll be fine,” she repeated, and strode past Janey. 

Janey turned, watching her pick up her armour. To hell with it if she pushed her boundaries, she had to make sure she didn’t injure herself further.

“I’ll get you padding to put underneath, if you insist on wearing it,” Janey stated, stepping up beside Athena, who froze. “Because your arms are gonna be in bloody bits if you wear that without any protection.” 

Athena shook her head, clamping her shoulder plate on. “It won’t fit properly then.”

“I’ll readjust it.”

Reaching up to fix the straps on her shoulder plate, Athena’s gaze slid across to Janey, finally. “Are you going to let this go?”

Janey picked up her shield caster. “Perhaps if you let me help you.”

With one firm yank, Athena finished securing her shoulder plate, and dropped her gaze. “Alright. What do you want as payment?” 

“Athena, not everything has to be paid for. I’m doing this out of the goodness of my heart, because I’m just that sorta generous gal.” 

Athena snickered, a sound Janey was glad to hear. 

“Hey! What’d I say that was funny?”

“Nothing," Athena insisted, her shoulders lowering, her eyebrows lifting. "I’ll buy you a drink.”

“Another drink.”

“That’s three I owe you, yes?”

“Moxxi’s gonna be over the moon with all of the business you’re gonna give ‘er.” 

Athena only huffed out a snort as a response, and Janey got to work attaching light padding to the inside of her shield, loosening it as she went. 

Less than fifteen minutes later, Athena returned, her hair somewhat tamed and her scarf already in place, pulled low over her charcoaled eyes so only the lower half of her face was uncovered. She looked _ terrifying _. Janey’s heartbeat sped up. 

“Here ya go. Better than new,” Janey told her, holding up the shield. 

“Thank you, Springs,” Athena replied, taking it and quickly fastening it on her lower arm, on top of the bandages. She deployed her shield, hefted it for a moment, testing the balance, and then it spun back into her arm. Athena smiled. “Perfect.” 

“‘Course it was. Did ya expect any different? Don’t answer that.” 

To her gratification, Athena’s smile grew, and she tugged downwards at her hood, as if to hide it. “Springs..” Her fingers drummed against the barrel of the revolver strapped to her thigh. 

“Janey,” Janey corrected. “I get to call you by your first name, it’s only fair that you do too. Well, it might be because I don’t know your second name but let’s overlook that.” 

After a second, Athena nodded slowly. “Janey,” she said, and Janey’s breath turned thick. 

“I - do you need anything? Uh, because you’ve done so much for me, and, I have done nothing.”

“Chill out about repaying everyone all the time, okay? Don’t worry about me. Unless you see an industrial-sized monogram processing unit hanging around somewhere. In that case, please very much worry about me and pick it up, would ya? Only if you come across it, ‘course.” 

Athena blinked. “Um…”

“Big red wiry thingy. Trust me. You’ll know it if you see it. And if ya don’t, give me a shout. And if you wanna give me a shout before then about anything, I'm always only a tap away," Janey reminded her, her fingers tracing the edge of her ECHO. 

Nodding, Athena's gaze drew slowly from Janey's ECHO back to her face, and she fidgeted with her scarf briefly. 

“Janey, I’m, um, looking forwards to that drink. Or three.” 

Immediately after she stopped speaking, Athena spun around and bolted. 

“Me too!” Janey called cheerfully after her. “Don’t die!” 

Athena raised a hand in acknowledgement without turning around. “Make sure you don’t either.” 

She sounded breathless, and Janey smiled to herself, watching her sprint out the front and slam straight into a kraggon. 

Less than a second later, Athena's voice cut in over the ECHO. 

"Do you still need kraggon bones for jewellery?"

Janey's grin grew as she tapped her ECHO to answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm so tired but i needed to write my two favs fucking shit up and taking care of each other


	3. The weight of a word

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Athena's armour is a part of her. But, for once in her life, she wants to feel warm skin instead of cold metal.

Athena unclipped the side of her chestplate, trying to ignore the trembling in her fingers. They still felt raw from where she had scrubbed the stained, brown blood off of them, away from Janey’s eyes. It was enough that she knew she killed. Athena didn’t want to confront her with reality that heavily. 

She exhaled, listening to Janey brush her teeth in the adjoining bathroom, and slid off her armour. Her chest felt cold, as if her lungs froze every breath she took. And Janey knew she was breathing ice, from the gentle way she ran a hand through Athena’s hair, from how she stubbornly kept every single one of her guns working to perfection, the chance of jamming or misfiring almost zero. Athena’s weapons had never felt so smooth in her hands. 

Closing her eyes, Athena focused on Janey’s little hums, the tapping of her fingers to a beat trapped inside her head. She dropped her chestplate onto the bed. It was okay. The outside doors were locked, the inside ones too, and the chains from their bedroom door to the wall sturdy. 

Safe. The word still felt dangerous in Athena’s mind. It weighted on her, as if she was holding a stick of dynamite in her skull, something that could explode at any given moment. Her hands were a little less steady removing her belts, ammunition clinking as she slung them onto the bed in front of her. She inhaled frigid air. Safe. 

Athena cast a gaze over to her guns, laying on the bedside cabinet. Safe. 

Her arms rose and crossed over her vulnerable, icy chest, gripping her upper arms. Safe. The word felt more volatile than ever. The more she repeated it to try and convince herself that it was true, the more it seemed to crack, crumbling away on her tongue. 

“I’m safe,” she said aloud. 

Although her voice quivered in the middle, she reached down and pushed down her thigh armour. She heard Janey spit into the sink behind her.

“Did you say somethin’?”

“It’s not important,” Athena replied, placing her armour carefully beside the rest of her gear. 

She couldn’t remember the last time she’d taken everything off, arranged it in a neat pile. Even when she’d asked to sleep beside Janey, she still fell into her habit of sleeping under the comforting weight of her armour. She’d gotten used to her leg being more raised than the other, her shoulders not lying flat, her breathing being restricted. It was worth the discomfort. 

Until now, until someone else made her feel safe. 

Peeling her red-faded, worn top off, Athena felt a shiver run through her. Janey had never seen her without it on, even at her most relaxed. The air was cool against her arms, prickling her skin, but in a refreshing way.

Taking a deep breath, Athena took hold of her striped, skin-tight vest and stripped it off quickly. She only ever took it off to shower or to patch up her injuries, and she didn’t know the last time she’d looked in a mirror. Tucking it underneath her chest plate, Athena turned around, her ribcage feeling free. A thin cloth bra hung over her breasts - she’d found that the chest plate was more than enough support, so why battle with choosing a bra? 

The bathroom door opened, and Janey, pyjama-clad, mid-step forwards, froze. 

“Athena? Hon? You’re...wow!”

It was fortunate that her toothbrush was not still in her mouth, because Athena was certain it would’ve dropped to the floor. 

Athena crossed her arms over her chest. 

“I figured it’s about time I get comfortable.” 

“I can see that,” Janey smiled, stepping closer to Athena, her expression softening. “But why now? Did somethin’ happen?”

Athena shook her head, and she uncurled her fingers from her arms, instead reaching up to pull Janey’s headband off. Stray, overgrown strands of Janey’s hair flopped down over her eyes, and Janey groaned. 

“I’ve gotta get the scissors at that soon, or I won’t be able to see. And believe me, I wanna be able to see. Specifically, you.”

Athena smiled, running her hands up Janey’s bare arms. Her chest felt warm. 

“I thought it might be nice to cuddle with nothing in the way for once.”

In response, Janey's smile grew wider, and she wrapped her arms around Athena's torso, pulling her into a hug. Her scar-laced arms felt pleasantly right around her waist. Slowly, Athena's arms raised and wound around Janey's core, perhaps holding her a bit tighter than she intended to. Janey didn't complain. Athena's chin rested on Janey's shoulder, and she closed her eyes.

"Do you wanna get out of those draks as well?" Janey asked softly, turning her head to press her lips to Athena's cheek briefly.

"Uh.."

"Pants. Aren't they leather? They look bloody uncomfortable."

Athena raised an eyebrow. "You're not being very subtle."

"Hey," Janey protested, her breath hot against Athena's cheek. "If I wanted us outta our knickers I'd tell ya. But you're not ready for that yet, are ya?"

It wasn't really a question - Janey had gotten good at reading Athena, almost too good. Athena had to force down her instincts telling her how risky it was for someone to be this close to her, to flee before it all collapses. She shook her head, feeling how Janey's chest swelled against hers with every breath. Safe.

"Not yet. Sorry," she added, and Janey broke away, frowning. A stab of panic hit Athena before Janey leaned back in, placing her hands on her shoulders as she spoke, quick and sure.

"Don't you ever apologise for not doing somethin' you're not comfortable with, okay?" 

Janey's eyes were so quietly heated, a smouldering dark brown, that Athena felt her heartbeat speed up. She inclined her head, cutting eye contact.

"Alright."

She felt Janey kiss her forehead. "Now how about some of that cuddling you mentioned?"

Athena's pants were added to the heap at the end of the bed, and as she lay there, entangled with her girlfriend, she couldn't ever remember feeling so warm. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted them to cuddle and be safe


End file.
